Edith asked, “What is the true definition of love? *different from what the world says”
When I meet a guy I am often asked if I have ever been in love and how did I know I was truly in love.
My answer is a reminder of my personal growth when it comes to that word.
I was once that girl who believed love was perfect and based solely on emotions. I allowed my emotions to make my decisions, which was often foolish. I relied so much on emotions that I never truly knew for sure if a person was the one for me.
Love to me is NOT an emotion. I view love as being a form of stability. Therefore, if it was based on an emotion, we will showcase a level of love based on how we feel for that day or moment. As a result, love IS an ACTION!
The definition of love can be found in:
1 Corinthians 13:4-8 (New International Version-NIV)
4 Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.
5 It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.
6 Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.
7 It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.
8 Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away.
Love is NOT based on a “feeling” of warmth and butterflies. Although those feelings are associated with love, it does not define it.
If you read 1 Corinthians 13:4-8 OUT LOUD, over and over again, you will begin to see that love is shown. For example look at verse 5, all of what is listed can be shown through one’s actions. To “keep no records of wrong” means to truly forgive and let it go. How does “forgiveness or letting it go” look like? It is demonstrated through one’s composer or actions towards another individual.
When you hold a grudge, you begin to be stand-offish and slowly start to build a wall up. Love is not about tallying up how many times a person has wronged you, love is a refresh button. That means that once you say, I forgive you, you have to continue to demonstrate the act of love.
Now I am in no way saying that staying with someone who is unappreciative of you is wise. In reality, someone who is constantly cheating on you and violating you is the total opposite of love. The word says that love does not dishonor!
What I am going to say may sting but it is the truth, some people have mistaken love with lust and infatuation. Have you ever witnessed someone stay in a relationship that was unhealthy for them and then say love is keeping them together? In reality, it is actually lust or infatuation that is the glue. I say that because I was once that person. I was staying with men who in no way loved me the way that God wanted me to be loved.
I don’t know about you, but I want God’s way of love over the worldly version. The more you know God, the more you begin to realize and understand that TRUE love is opposite of what the world and romance movies make it out to be.
I want that, a man loves God so deeply that he knows how to love me deeply kind of thing.
If you are dating someone and especially if you are considering marriage, dwell on 1 Corinthians 13:4-8 and begin to ask yourself if the person you are with exudes those characteristics towards you. You should also ask yourself if YOU exude those characteristics towards the individual you are with.
If you want to know what love is not, make those verses opposite. If the person has anger issues towards you, mean, does not protect you, gets happy when bad things happen to you and more; you can rest assure that the person does NOT love you.
So how can one discern what love is?!
That’s simple, get to know God. When you begin to know the creator of love, you will begin to know what love is because God is a God that not only tells us that he loves us; he shows it. He loves you so much that he woke you up this morning and you get another chance at life.
Imagine if God just “felt” love, he would do nothing to showcase it to us. God knows that humans need validation and certainty. So God validates love through his actions and providing us with things that we need. God’s love is certain towards ALL of us. God is not a God of confusion.
So if someone is confused on whether or not they love you; make it easier for the both of you and leave. Love is NOT confusion; it is certain. Never sell yourself short because you have too much value and the right one will see and embrace that value.
As the world will continue to display love as a romantic feeling, PLEASE remember that love is an action. It is not enough to just feel it, you must have it displayed. I do not know about you, but I would rather have a person SHOW me that they love me instead of “saying” and “feeling” that they love me.