top of page

Dear Men

Dear men,

Bob Marley said it best when he said, “The biggest coward of a man is to awaken the love of a woman without the intention of loving her”.

There is much talk on preparation of womanhood in the church, schools, and social media. While those talks are great and encouraging, it has dawned on me that there is little conversation on the subject of manhood as it pertains to relationships.

Women are sometimes to blame for the continuous cycles of being used and strung along. Yes we know that we should know better and often times, we do not apply to do better after several rounds of being heart broken.

However, men who are positioned to lead, have to think better in order to do and be better for women. I have sat in on numerous conversations of many women who love a man purposelessly. The woman has strong feelings for men who are uncertain if there is even anything there. I have heard stories filled with tears of women who give it their all when their men only gave them a little.

Truthfully, uncertainty is grounds for letting go. However, it has made many women hold on tighter.

So men, my question to you is: why the holding on? Why the, time will tell if she is the one excuse. Many times, the time that is usually taken takes years and that is where the problem lies. Time is stolen from the woman and she misses out on someone who is full of certainty and not hesitant to dive into the journey of love.

This letter is meant to open your eyes and most importantly your heart to women who have are beautifully created by God to love effortlessly. Yet their love is constantly taken for granted.

So men I urge you to let go of another man’s good thing if you are unsure. Use your singleness not just to stack up on your money, move up in your career or purchase that home that you want. While all of those things are great to have, do not lose sight that your manhood is based on the WHO you are rather than WHAT you have.

So use your singleness to better you mentally, emotionally and spiritually.

I have heard numerous of sermons directed towards women to be their best version of themselves. While that is beneficial, it can become draining. While women throughout the world are bettering themselves from the inside out, who is talking to the men. Who is telling the men to get their emotions or fear of emotions in check. Who is speaking to them about the dangers of playing with a woman’s heart.

Today’s entertainment industry has glamorized polygamy and men are often praised with being half way with women.

Men, being monogamous and unashamed of giving and accepting love is quite masculine. It is the running away from emotions or starting something with women only to leave her unexpectedly; is childish.

Again, I am not doing the blame game but the lets bring to light what is often left in the dark. Men, I need you to be ready from the inside out before the contemplation of taking a girl out. You have no idea that the girl may be ready and open to love while you are deciding if Curry is truly the best NBA player of all time.

Prioritize the building and the maturing of your emotions. You cannot sweep that up under the rug in hopes that things will magically work out.

I am not rushing nor pressuring you to love. I am simply stating what Bob Marley stated the best, “The biggest coward of a man is to awaken the love of a woman without the intention of loving her”.

Therefore, let go of the woman that you are confused of because you are blocking her from a man who is prepared and ready to give her a certain type of love that is filled with purpose.

With Love,

Miss Joy


bottom of page