Choosing to get to know a person may sound harmless but for those in the “physical therapy” stage of love, it can feel harmful and scary; although it is not intended to be as such.
So what is the “physical therapy of love” stage?
Before I define my newly discovered term, I must state that I am not a therapist and it is simply a term that dropped in my spirit.
The physical therapy of love is very similar to actual physical therapy.
It is retraining your heart, mind and emotions to love again.
Some of the reasons that a person is in physical therapy can be due to car accidents, a sport injury, injured at work, assault and many more.
Despite the various reasons as to why one may need physical therapy; there is a commonality among them all.
That commonality is that people have experienced a level of pain that has readjusted their original function(s) for the worse.
When you experience a heart break, you experience pain. That level of pain is based on the severity of that heart break and the person itself.
That heart break not only leaves you emotionally wounded; your views of love can begin to negatively change. Your optimism about love and relationships can leave you to become pessimistic.
You may even begin to develop depression or you begin to care less about your health and/or outward appearance.
The physical therapy of love begins to happen once you become single.
I cannot tell you how many times I have met GOOD men who I have pushed away simply because my heart and emotions were on a stand still. I would be interested, but my overthinking and fear allowed me to be too standoffish, dry with my conversations, and my actions came off as if I didn’t care.
With all of that taking place, my mind was screaming: Like me!!! Adore me!! But I was not exuding my heart’s desire.
In physical therapy you have to train your body and mind. You have to push yourself, even when you do not want to or believe you can.
Love is the same way!
So what does the physical therapy of love entail?!
-Retraining your heart and emotions!
You have to retrain your heart of your self worth. You have to remind yourself that not only are you beautiful or handsome but that you are that good woman or that good man!!
Understanding your worth will navigate your journey. But you have to get to that point of discovering and embracing it!
It begins with YOU!
That is why spending time with yourself, even if you are dating is important!
I am a STRONG believer of self dates! So take yourself out to the movies, out to eat, the mall, an art gallery and more. You have to retrain your heart and emotions that joy, fun, laughter, and love can be experienced by you alone.
By doing so, whomever you meet, will sense that you are not relying on another person for love and joy. That keeps your emotions in check while you are re-discovering who you are.
The more YOU know YOU, the more you realize that everyone is not worthy of having a one on one opportunity to get to know you. And guess what!? That is okay!!
-Retraining your mind.
You are what you think is an old saying that is still relevant to this day!
Your mind after a break up can become shattered and overthinking can occur at an unhealthy rate or depressing can begin to kick in.
By retraining your mind, you have to begin to see love and the possibility of it happening; to happen to you.
Write out positive affirmations about self-worth, beauty, optimistic sayings and more around your house, room, car; wherever!! Remind yourself DAILY that you are awesome and capable to love and to give love!
In the midst of positivity, be VERY mindful of what you watch! If you spend hours watching YouTube videos about ghosts, what kind of night and thoughts do you think you will have!? A not so great one!
Your mind is powerful! You can become what you think and have a level of faith based on your outlook of things.
It is essential that you feed your mind with positive thoughts, seminars, sermons, and motivational films and books to reshape your mind. You have to strengthen and change your mind if you want to get back out there.
If you are one to believe that all men are dogs or that all women are gold diggers, what do you think you will begin to see!! Dogs and gold diggers! Although, you may “see it” or “sense it”; does not mean that it is a reality.
Our perspective of things is based on our past experiences. So if you do not allow your past to stay in the past, it will be all that you see.
-Retraining your body
Loneliness, fear and heartbreak do not have to show!
If you have ever been asked on a date, the process leading up to it is nerve racking yet exciting! You make sure to put on your best and look your best.
That does not and should not have to end!
The therapy stage is the PERFECT time to own your beauty and handsomeness for you! Too many people do things for others and later down the road fall off once they are unmotivated by that specific person.
Once you begin to take of yourself because YOU get the pleasure of it, you obtain a level of confidence that is firm!
You may have been so used to looking your best for your mate that now you must begin to get dressed for you! This is the time that you take care of your body from the inside out!
Heartbreak can leave us to stop taking care of our bodies. I have been there before and it is not a great feeling! You may have some health goals and this is the perfect time to work towards them!
Your heart may be experiencing pain but that does not mean that your health needs to be in jeopardy.
Depression is very serious and it can take a toll on a person physically and how they may view themselves.
*If you or if you know anyone suffering from depression: please seek help!
The idea of loving someone again is scary and these thoughts may seem simple for some. But the truth of the matter is that it is not easy for all! Take it from someone who is currently in physical therapy for love.
I am STILL learning. But I can tell you all this, there are people who will make your therapy sessions great and those who will make it pretty difficult.
Will you experience some pain through movements? Yes!
Will it last always? No!
It will strengthen with time, practice and effort.
If you are dating, please remember to put you first before the other person. Do not become dependent on another person for your joy. It is a journey that is associated with many risks. But it does not have to be a journey that can leave you empty if things do not work out the way you would like.