Nothing feels better than the feeling of wanting to not only be wanted but when we are shown to be wanted. When you see someone who is pleasing to the eyes, you are sometimes tempted to approach him; hoping that an eventful conversation will spark. To your surprise, a conversation occurs that later leads it to be continued in another setting; over dinner. At that time, the sparks turn into fireworks and your thinking this is the one. Over time, quality time is consistently spent because of your initiative. You are the first one to constantly text him about various events that you want to attend. You press the issue of meeting his family and friends. You are even begging for a title that you begin to play the role of a wife. You are left to believe that things are going swell only to find out that you are one of many. You are left heartbroken and confused on how something so beautiful can turn into something so one-sided. I have some news for you sistah; it was one-sided because you left no room for him to pursue you.
It is no secret that women are known to be complicated and men are usually straight-forward. On a side-note, if you come across a man who is confused as to what and who he wants; flee. Later on, I will tell you why. Since men are straight forward, they normally know what they want and do not want. When a man pursues a woman, he sees someone that is pleasing to his eyes. Something about the woman captivates him; leading him to want to know more or in some cases get more. This is why praying for wisdom and discernment is IMPORTANT! It is not a crime to be excited when approached by a handsome man but do not let it get to your head ladies because you can be one of many and you do not know his intentions. Since you do not know, it is important to let him do the chase because men have no problems going after what their heart desires. If a man is not going after you, his heart doesn’t desire you. Before I move forward, I need you ladies to know that the games you may play when you come across a genuine man who is pursuing must cease. So let your yes be a yes and your no a no.
When a man has a favorite sports team, he is standing by that team no matter what. You cannot tell that man anything. His team may have a horrible track record but there is something about that particular team that makes him stay. There is a sense of peace and feeling proud that the man has for that particular team. When a man truly pursues a woman, there is something about her that captivates him. His desire is not based on his boy’s opinions or what society says. When a man sees a beautiful woman and as he begins to know her, there is something about her that he cannot find in the most publicly adored woman. He is convinced that he is on the RIGHT team and no one can tell him anything! When a man is to that level, he WILL want to spend more time with you, create memorable memories, bring you around his family and friends and most importantly connect with you on a spiritual level. At that given point, the woman is never left to guess or question his intentions because he not only tells her, he shows her.
The art of the pursuit is beautiful when it comes your way. Although at times it can be hard to believe because you are looked at as an investment for the future. The depositing begins instantly. A man who is convinced that you are worth the chase and the wait will begin to deposit into your life. He will deposit his time, his effort, his heart, his emotions (yes ladies, he will open up to you and connect with you on a vulnerable level), his family and friends and most importantly his spirituality. When a man deposits those factors into your life, he believes in a future with you. Why would anyone work hard for a pair of chic shoes to not one day wears it for all to see? Ladies you are beyond chic and FULL of so much more value…why? Because God made you! The man for you will notice how valuable you are and will do whatever it may take to make things not only happen; but to make things last. He will not invest so much time into you to let you slip away. However, there are cases that it may occur but many times the man has showcased red flags of uncertainty, fear or lack of maturity (that is a whole blog post in itself).
The art of the pursuit is a work of art. Beautiful. Admirable. Ladies you will not and do not have to go out of your way to gain the attention of the one God has for you because what God has for you is for YOU! The reality is that most men will begin to categorize women based on their quality. Hence, the importance to put your best and CLASSY foot forward. Men only take serious things serious and laugh at jokers while playing the card still. So if you find yourself chasing after that man to make time for you, commit to you and more; then chances are he is not that into you. It sounds harsh and trusts me when I tell you that I have been there SEVERAL TIMES! I was hard headed and had to learn the hard way. But trust me when I say the feeling of being pursued is reassuring and confusion is NOT in the midst.
I really hope this brings clarity to someone who is struggling with being dragged along in a pointless situation-ship. God bless and all the glory goes to HIM.