Imagine packing up your old life to move to another state for a boo and about a year and a couple of months later, your boo ends the relationship. Well that scenario was my reality a little over 6 years ago when I decided to leave everything I knew in Connecticut for a man. I know it sounds foolish and you are probably judging the mess out of me and I honestly do not blame you. Despite how bold and yet foolish my decision to move was, it actually became the experience that led me to blog.
It was a little over 6 years when I decided to pack my bags and move to New Jersey in order to be closer to a guy I was dating. There was no discussion with him about my desire to be closer. So after about 30 cover letters and resumes later, I received and accepted a job offer in Newark, New Jersey.
I was fortunate enough to work things out with the Dean of my Master Program at Southern Connecticut State University to finish up my last semester in New Jersey. Even though I moved without a car and not much money saved up, the loyal part of me was determined to make things work.
My first year of living in New Jersey was an amazing experience since the 2 hour distance had drastically lessened to about 20 minutes. I attended events in New York, concerts with my guy, I found a church home- shoutout to Agape Family Worship Center and my man officially became my boyfriend. From the looks of my Instagram page, at that time, it seemed as if I was living on cloud nine. However, things took a drastic turn a year and a couple of months later after my move.
The guy whom I moved to another state for, ended the relationship. As a result, I felt so embarrassed, ashamed, hurt, angry and empty because I gave up so much for what I thought felt so right. I even became very angry at God. I actually believed that my anger towards God would guilt Him into bringing my ex-boyfriend back to me but as months went by, I had a rude awakening that he was never coming back.
Without delay, God started to awaken the purpose in me by intentionally connecting me with individuals who saw something in me that I did not initially see in myself.
As God was beginning to show me more of who He wanted me to become, I started to realize that my previous relationship was a barrier and a huge distraction.
Prior to that relationship, I had no clue about my future and there was nothing that I really desired but to have a "good paying job". I never had a vision for my life. I never knew what purpose was and how invaluable it is. The breakup forced me to take a x-ray image of Joy to learn about my likes, dislikes, goals, dreams and so much more. Could you believe that I went through life with so many years of not knowing who I really was. I lived as if I was a leaf; just moving to whichever direction the wind blew my way. That definitely explains my poor choice in men during my younger years. I did not date based on substance solely because I did not realize, accept and live as if I had it myself.
A little after a month after the breakup, on December 31, 2015, I was on the phone with Amy- whom at the time was someone I viewed as a mentor. Amy had a Word from God for me that night. She told me that God wanted me to write about my heartbreak and experiences because so many women would need it. Amy then introduced blogging as a powerful platform for me to write and suggested that I begin a blog. She encouraged me to seek God for a title of my blog and so I asked God out loud what I should name it. I kid you not, in about 2 minutes my mouth opened and I said, Emotional Leakage Through Ink. The reason why I knew the title was from God was because it came out of no where and it was accompanied with a sense of peace that is difficult to put into words.
Then in February of 2016, my blog site officially launched!
As insanely weird as this may sound, I always acknowledge that previous relationship whenever I discuss the start of my blogging because the pain that I endured truly birthed my purpose.
The pain and various experiences following the breakup turned out to become the stern, passionate and therapeutic tone of my blogs and videos. I have been told several times that my blogs are authentic and I know that the reason my work is received as such is because the healed me understands and has accepted the breakup as being a part of God's intentional plan for my life.