2021 Is Not The Year To Be 'Lax' With Dating



2021 is a year that many of us were very anxious to see due to the unfortunate events that we experienced in 2020, such as COVID. COVID has drastically changed many of our routines and plans. Especially in the area of how we approach dating. Prior to this pandemic, dating was no walk in the part but now it feels like an never-ending obstacle course.


As the use of dating apps and social media dm's continues to increase, I want to encourage women that being unapologetic about one's realistic standards must continue to be the wave in 2021.

This is not the year that you entertain foolishness, beg a person to be with you, or alter your God-given identity to win the attention of a 'counterfeit'. You are fortunate enough to see 2021 and that should not be taken lightly because there is purpose over your life.


It does not matter how "strong" or wise you are, if you do not keep your mind and heart guarded and be reminded of how invaluable time is while in this pandemic; you can quickly fall into the dilemma of wasting your time.

So why am I adamant about dating intentionally this year?

  • There is something powerful about surviving through a period of time (2020) that many were uncertain of.

  • This is not the time to allow someone in your space with whom you want to play it "safe" with.

WHO you connect yourself with at this hour can either be of help or a distraction. Please note that a distraction does not always bring chaos. Distractions have been painted as being "loudly" toxic but it can be very subtle. It can be that individual who does not honor your writing time for the sake of 'Netflix and Chill'. It can be a person who sees the greatness in you while you're talking about your dreams and goals but they do not push you to be proactive.


In all fairness, no one is responsible for the calling over your life but you. However, if you are inviting an individual into your space, it is essential that they understand, respect, and in some ways nurture who you are. Too often, people connect with a love interest and drastically become disinterested in themselves such as their passions, goals, and/or projects.


Since you are blessed to read this, let me remind you that God wants and needs you to do something in this season. For some, it may be to serve others. While for others it may be to work on your business or use the time to heal and reset. Regardless of what it may specifically for you, if you choose to date in 2021, do not be lax in this area. You cannot afford to date out of boredom. Your future self is dependent on it.


Dating is a risk and everyone you date is not meant to be the one. But I have found asking the following questions to men to bring me clarity when trying to gain a better sense of who they are:

  • What are you looking for right now?

  • What does emotionally available look like/mean to you?

  • Would you consider yourself to be emotionally available?

  • If you were to develop strong feelings for a woman, would there be anything that would stop you from pursuing a relationship?

  • What does dating mean to you?

  • Are you healed from your past relationship?

  • What kind of work have you done or are doing to move forward from your previous relationship?

It is a no brainer that people can speak eloquently and one's response can be molded in to please solely your ear. So please be mindful to practice discernment because words sounds great but actions are powerful!


Witnessing 2021 should not be taken lightly and neither should your dating life. You deserve a partner who is going to challenge you, encourage you, compliment you, and nurture you in a healthy manner. Ultimately, it is up to you to view and proceed into this new year as a year that you refuse to be lax in the area of dating. Your future self will be impacted on how you and who you choose to date.


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