Self worth is a term that is loosely used but not always defined through one’s actions.
Self worth is revelation of self value. When you have a revelation of something, you are so deeply moved and changed, that you begin to do and be a little different.
Self worth will have you realize (to name a few): that you cannot settle even if you tried and that you will begin to view your body differently.
1.) You cannot settle even if you tried
Have you ever met someone who was very attractive, smart, well established and they just seemed so ideal. However, there are some issues and/or red flags that you cannot look past. Those things that you refuse to look past to proceed are categorized as your “non-negotiable”.
That means that no matter “how put together” a person is, there are some characteristics or actions that you refuse to settle for. If you prefer someone who, for example, is a believer, or someone who does not do drugs, that will be your non negotiable. You will not be willing to move towards a relationship if a person does exemplify those qualities. You will not care how much they make or what their social status is, you know that it will not be beneficial to you. The only way you will know what is beneficial and not beneficial to you, is by getting to know, understand and embrace the you.
We as humans only embrace things deeply and closely that is of great value to us.
It takes not only strength to tell a person no, no matter how successful they are to others; it takes a deep and unapologetic attitude and understanding of self worth. See when you have revelation that you deserve good because of who you are as an individual, you will have a difficult time settling for just anyone.
That is why it is VERY important to ask questions in the beginning stages of getting to know a person because it will guide you in your decision making.
Some of you may be thinking, “Joy those positive characters that you mentioned earlier seems good so what is the problem with settling?”. Well based on my personal non-negotiable, I refuse to just proceed with a person who does not embody the things that means most me. What I value is a reflection of how I view myself.
As a believer, I have met successful men, who have a great head on their shoulder. However, there were some men who have blatantly told me that they do not have a relationship with God and that them and God have an “understanding”. Now if I have met those same men about 3 years ago, I would not care about their non belief and will probably be in a relationship with them. Since I didn’t take my identity in Christ as an important thing, I didn’t see the need to expect that from men.
When you understand who you are, you cannot just say a yes to just anybody. Even the feelings of loneliness that can occur will not allow you to settle with just anyone in order to say that you have someone.
So do not be ashamed of your no’s because that is evidence that you have revelation of your worth.
2.) You view your body differently
Self-worth will allow you to physically, mentally and emotionally look at your body in a brand new and positive light. You will not only feel beautiful, you will begin to take true care of your temple. You will not just look at your body as a “tag-sale”, publicized for purchase by just any one; your body is precious and not up for a cheap sale.
Sex is powerful and VERY intimate. That intimacy can create ties and bonds that is not easy to break. When there is a realistic view of sex attained while the realization of your value; you will realize that everyone does not and should not have the right to your temple.
You will see your body as something earned through marriage instead of just freely given. Remember, the highest level of a commitment that a man can give to a woman is marriage. So easily we can commit our bodies without expecting what a man is capable of giving.
I will be the first to say, that I am not angel. I struggle with thoughts and desires but I cannot fathom giving me away to someone who has not earned it. Shoot I feel beautiful and I take care of myself, well I try to lol. But I value my spiritual, mental, emotional, and physical too much to just allow someone to take a piece of me.
Opening your eyes to who you are in the lens of God cannot even be truly be experienced. I believe that if we see ourselves, from how God sees us, insecurities will not exists. Psalm 139:14 says that “we are fearfully and wonderfully made”. That means that God made no mistakes with us. I do not know about you but that makes me want to truly take care of God’s creation; me!
Our self-worth can be expressed in many more ways than what I listed above. I need you, who is reading this, to remember that the moment you draw closer to God is the very moment you will see your own reflection clearly.