This is the time of the year where many people have begun to write down their New Year’s resolutions with eagerness and confidence that this upcoming year will be different from the last. Traditionally, we focus on goals such as losing weight, eating healthy, saving money, and so much more. While those things are great goals, I wanted to provide you with some things to NOT bring into your 2018!
If you want your 2018 to be your year, then leave the following things behind!
What is a situation-ship you may ask?
A situation-ship usually consist of 2 people who act like they are in a relationship but are not actually in anything committed. The reason why situation-ships can be complicated is because there is an unspoken expectation that someone may have for another person without a commitment. In some cases, one individual may be content with the set up of things while the other individual deeply desires something solid; a relationship.
We all know that communication is key but vocalizing that you desire a relationship is often looked at as being desperate. However, the reality is that is DOES NOT. Being unashamed and unapologetic of what you want can actually prevent you from wasting your time.
Why would you try to convince someone for months or years to slap a title on what you have. It will only create confusion, frustration, pain and loneliness.
Sure, the wine and dine may be great. The photos together may even look beautiful. But if that person was asked who you are to them, what would their answer be? "Someone I am kicking it with", "Thats my piece", "I don't know", or just plain silence.
Now, if you are okay with that, then this section is not for you. However, if you are anticipating for true love and commitment to be in your radar for 2018, then make room for it to actually happen. You cannot expect to meet your Ms. or Mr. Right while spending time with Ms. or Mr. I don't know. You also cannot afford to waste your time on someone who is okay with wasting your time. If that person is not proactive about building towards something, through their actions, then it is time to do some evaluating and subtracting to follow.
Surprisingly, the ball is in your court! You can set the tone as to how long you will allow certain things to go on for before throwing up the deuces. Determining that length is easy but applying it is the difficult part. For instance, some people may choose to date a person, monogamously, for 3-6 months before having the, when are we going to be in a relationship conversation. While others may date a person for up to 1 month before having that conversation.
From experience, years ago, I dated a guy for about 4 months with my options closed. Things seemed great because we acted like we were in a relationship. We agreed to date monogamously but the conversation about a relationship was filled with excuses. I began to feel uncomfortable and foolish because I noticed that he was content with me "acting" the part of a girlfriend without ever me being the actual part. Please keep in mind, I personally did not want to "date" him for that long without a title but I settled because I simply liked him. At month 4 I was smacked with the, "I can't give you what you deserve" line. To be honest I knew he could not give me what I deserved when I spoke about wanting to be in a relationship and I heard nothing but excuses, yet I stayed.
The guy ending it showed me 3 things:
1.) When someone is ready to commit to you, they will do so without hesitation.
2.) Acting like a girlfriend before I am one does not guaranteed a girlfriend title.
3.) Never keep your options closed for someone who is content with things being stagnant. I overlooked great guys who wanted the same things I wanted.
So ditch the situation-ships and be intentional about who you choose to date, if a relationship and/or a marriage is what you desire! Stop entertaining "friends with benefit" if you are not benefiting from it. Most importantly, DO NOT be afraid to walk away from someone who is not ready nor willing to give you the relationships that you want. Someone in 2018 is ready to proactively build and experience a relationship with you without the confusion.
It is no surprise that our actions are followed by our thoughts so if we expect greatness to occur in 2018, we must first think like it.
That is why I am urging you to stop limiting your thinking!
This includes having a broke mindset. It is no secret that times are hard for many of us but do not allow the current state of our economy dictate how you will grow financially!
2018 does not have time for that!
Stop saying that “you’re broke”, even if you are. Begin to say and think, “My limited financial status is only temporary”. The word broke has such a negative and depressing energy associated to it and it can have the power to stay as your reality. Our actions are led by our thoughts so you can’t expect to grow financially if you do not think that you’re capable of doing so.
2018 is also the year to dream big and envision yourself as successful. Take that leap of faith. Start that business. Begin to write that book that has been tugging at your heart. Whoever told you that you could not do what you are passionate about lied! Do not accept their fears, doubts and jealously that they have poured onto your life. People will actually try to limit you because they see your true potential. That is why you need to walk into 2018 with your head held high with confidence!
Do not be afraid to write down your goals, your business ideas, a to do list or anything that comes to your mind as it pertains to you and the things that you would like to accomplish in 2018. Even if the things written down seems impossible to accomplish, do not allow that to stop you from trying. You will be surprised of the things that you capable of achieving by simply thinking of yourself as a winner! Remember a limited outlook of self and life, can actually prevent you from experiencing a life filled with excitement, joy, opportunities and growth.
I blogged about the benefits of cutting toxic people off HERE That post re-iterates why your 2018 will be a great year without whose type of people! Your 2018 is already filled with opportunities, promotions and adventures so why would you want to stay attached to a person who can possibly jeopardize all of that for you!
I know many people are tired of hearing the, "I am cutting off certain types of people" quotes on social media but I have to join in on that bandwagon and state it! You can't expect to flourish while being tied down by those who do not desire you to grow into your greatness.
In this upcoming year, take the time to really think and evaluate if the people closest to you are serving you more harm than good in your life. Are they goal chasers? Are they supporting you? Do they speak life into you or do they speak death and doubt? These are very important questions to ask yourself because your 2018 does not have room to entertain haters! You want and need people in your corner who will motivate, support, pray, push and cheer for you!
If I told you that I have never been afraid of something, then I am telling you a big fat lie! When I first launched my blog site in February of 2015, I was scared! I did not know how I would be received and I was nervous that my blog would be mocked and taken as a joke. Now, it may have been mocked and laughed at but 2 years later, various opportunities have occurred. If I had allowed my fear to stop me from launching my blog site, then you would not be reading this blog post now.
Fear can and will hinder your from seeing your greatness if you allow it to. So make that choice today to let go of it.
Now it is not an overnight process and it will take time, but do not allow fear to prevent you from making a decision. I cannot help but to think about Isaiah 41:10, "Fear thou not, for I am with thee; be not dismayed, for I am thy God. I will strengthen thee; yea, I will help thee; yea, I will uphold thee with the right hand of My righteousness" (KJV). That means that God promises to have our back no matter how scary something may seem. He WILL be our source of strength and victory is already attached to us as the outcome! Although, it is human nature to feel fearful of things, never allow that emotion to bully you out of your destiny.
I don't care how messy your 2017 was, if you want to change your ways and some things for the better then DO IT! You have the right to not only want the best of what 2018 has to offer but to experience it. I pray that 2018 exceeds all of your expectations!
Happy New Year to you ALL!